September 8, 2007
"No man is lonely while eating spaghetti.” – Robert Morley
One recent evening, I ate out alone in a very nice Italian restaurant, ordered spaghetti, and found out exactly what the above quote means--dining out alone and eating spaghetti is never a lonely pursuit!
I ordered grilled garlic chicken breast with spaghetti in a Roma tomato and roasted red pepper sauce served on the side along with sautéed green beans. Sounds yummy, but getting the spaghetti securely onto the utensil and into my mouth was more like dining gymnastics.
Certainly, I was not lonely because I was too busy trying to get the stringy stuff on my fork and pasta spoon.
Additionally, my time was consumed with trying to get a spot or two of the sauce off the front of my white blouse where it landed quite ceremoniously.
To remove the spot, I would need to soak it immediately so the stain would not set. I decided to wet my cloth napkin with the water in my drinking glass. It is not proper to dip the napkin in the water; therefore, I poured the water onto the napkin. What might as well have been a bucket of ice then spilled from the glass onto the table and into my lap.
Now, there was plenty to do while dining. I did not need a book to read at the table in order to look busy.
No sirree. All I had time to do was eat and clean up my mess.
Meanwhile, an overly attentive waitress kept calling me “honey” and “sweetie”. She positively hovered and must have been uncomfortable because I was at a table for one.
“I should have sat at the bar,” I mumbled.
“Good grief,” I thought, “What is all her fuss? People eat alone all the time while traveling, or while their spouse is traveling, while on business, or simply because they are single. Besides, I enjoy the solitude.”
As I wondered how much to tip her, a young couple with three small children sat down in the booth across the aisle. The waitress asked for their drink order, and the dad said with finality, “We will all have water.”
The mom, unfazed, commented, “You know what. I think I will have a glass of your house Merlot, but I would like an iced tea with dinner, too. Maybe, I will have some coffee after dinner as well. And Timmy here, he will have a lemonade, Eric wants a Sprite, and Emily will have a milk.”
So much for the dad’s attempt to avoid paying for beverages.
My advice when dining alone, order spaghetti and eavesdrop. It beats hiding behind a newspaper.
